Category Archives: Silly Me

Fanboy Game Review #1 – Fallout 4

[Note: I do not consider myself a game critic. What follows is just one fanboy’s opinion. Oh, and there are some mild SPOILERS ahead, so take heed.]

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War never changes, but the UI certainly does.

Fallout 4 is big news in the media. It’s all over YouTube, news outlets, and TV. There’s a promotional Nuka Cola Quantum soda available at Target (if you lined up at 8:00 am on the day the game came out). Conan O’Brien even donned a Vault-Tec jumpsuit and Pip-Boy to give his take on the game. While reviews overall are mixed, with passionate viewpoints on both sides of the fence, I decided to put my two cents in about this blockbuster video game release.

So, here we go…

First Impressions:  Bethesda has a pretty good track record. Let’s see…Oblivion, Fallout 3, and FREAKIN’ SKYRIM! That last one is in all caps for a reason. SKYRIM is one of my favorite games of all time. So, the developers are going next generation with the Fallout series, one of the most beloved IPs in modern gaming. Okay, Bethesda, you have my attention. Let’s see what you’ve got.

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You are S.P.E.C.I.A.L!

What I Liked:

  • Since the original Legend of Zelda, I have always loved open-map games. Don’t put on me on rails, just turn me loose and let me decide where I want to go, and the order in which I tackle objectives. Fallout 4 gives me this freedom. Even when I’m not sure what to do next, I appreciate the ability to set my own course and blaze my own path.
  • Junk is useful. Pretty much anything you pick up can help you do something in the game. I have a suit of power armor optimized for carrying capacity so I can ‘clean up’ areas after I’ve cleared them of baddies. Nary a coffee cup or battered clipboard escapes my clutching grasp.
  • VOICE ACTING. Bethesda is known for their incredible voice talents and Fallout 4 does not disappoint. The male/female protagonist talent is top-shelf all the way, and the supporting cast is diverse and rarely if ever repeats. And Lynda Carter is in it as a character you can flirt with. By all that is right and holy in this world, my dreams have finally come true!
  • The story. I know that this is a problem for some folks, but I find it engaging. Now that I’m a parent in real life, the very thought of someone taking my kids away is a strong motivator to me, and very personal. Give me powered armor and I would hunt the Institute to hell and back if that’s what it took.
  • Fallout 4 avails itself of the rich lore built up and established in previous titles. I love reading through the journal entries and letters. Every location has a story and creates something of a snapshot of how things were as the bombs fells. I love unraveling the mysteries and finding those hidden pre-war caches of goodies. Love it, love it.
  • Powered Armor. I AM IRON MAN. *da-duh-da-duh-da-duh-da-duh-dun-dun-DUN-dun*.
  • The Perk System. I know is this a sticking point for some, but I enjoy it. Deciding upon which perk to get in SKYRIM was one my favorite parts of leveling up. This is just taken one step further. I didn’t mind the skill point system from Fallout 3 and New Vegas, but I like the perks system quite a bit better. Nothing is wasted, and it’s all useful.
  • The crafting system. Wow…the permutations of this are staggering. Weapons, armor, powered armor, settlements…it’s adult, post-apocalyptic Minecraft. I was never this much of a kid in a candy store even when I was, in fact, a kid in a candy store.
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Why is there never enough Aluminum? Or Adhesive? Gaaaah!

What I Didn’t Like:

  • For a game with such a robust crafting system, there is virtually no tutorial for how to use it effectively. And for things like establishing trade routes, I had to look that up. It’s not intuitive at all. Or when you retain mods for weapons that can be used again.
  • Settlement crafting is seems like it is really meant for building entirely new buildings with almost no consideration for making repairs to existing structures. Try putting a door in a door frame that you didn’t build, or patch a roof that isn’t flat. Nope.
  • I’m in powered armored but sheets of particle board shoddily nailed across a door or window are utterly impenetrable. Can I build my settlement defenses out of that stuff?
  • I have an Agility of 9, but I can’t climb. At all. I have to go waaay out of my way, jumping on shipping containers like Super Mario to get to higher ground or onto a rooftop. Really?
  • The lack of non-violent/diplomatic solutions to problems. If there are raiders attacking a nearby settlement, your only real option is to hunt them down and kill them all. I get that this might be the case for the worst of the lot, but for all of them? Without exception?
  • The Dialogue Wheel. I know, this is has been beaten to death in other reviews, but there is often a dissonance between what I think I’m going to say and what actually comes out of my character’s mouth. It feels like this greatly cuts down on the role-playing aspect of this RPG because you can’t carefully consider your words ahead of time.
  • The facial animations are behind the curve. As cool as Piper is as a character (and I love her), hers seems worst of all. I realize the open world means that the graphics can’t be as photorealistic as Rise of the Tomb Raider, but here the facial animations seem only marginally better than SKYRIM.
  • The type on the screen is sometimes hard to read. Every time I find a comic book, I immediately have to swivel it around to the back so I can actually read the benefit it gives me. There are also a few times when trading with an NPC will cover up key parts of the trading interface.
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Maybe, but I bet the Spartans would have welcomed powered armor. Just sayin’.

Conclusions:  I love this game, and don’t kid yourself – it is highly addictive. Be prepared to lose sleep and make apologies to friends and family. It’s immersive with a sense of place that is wonderful, terrifying, and rich. The attention to detail is off-the-chain nuts. Seriously. This isn’t a ‘once a year’ title that you’ll play through in a week or two and then put down for months or years. No, this is a game, much like SKYRIM, that you’ll be playing for years to come. Considering the breadth of content in the base game alone, Fallout 4 is utterly worth the price of admission.  You’ve done it again, Bethesda. My thanks.

And that’s the way this fanboy sees it.

 

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Of Funerals and Game of Thrones T-shirts

[Note: My blog isn’t usually a look into the goings on in my personal life, but this post is. Just a word of fair warning.]

T-shirts are one of my ‘things.’ I recently started posting photos to my Instagram and Facebook page of the T-shirts I wear when writing on Sundays. The characters, musicians, places, and pop-culture references they have on them all mean something to me – deeply. I take great pains when adding shirts to my writing wardrobe, and take care of the ones that do make it so that they will last for years. Take this one for instance:

I Like Lindsey

I wore this shirt when I finished one novel and again when I started another. That’s not me wearing it, however. http://www.shopbenchmark.com/lindseystirling/t-shirts/lindsey-stirling-i-like-lindsey-shirt.html

Here, I want to talk about two of these shirts in particular. Both of them are from Game of Thrones. (No, I’m not a shill for HBO merch, but that won’t stop me from posting links below. You watch.) They have a story, sadly connected, and have proven a (figurative) suit of armor for my emotions during hard times. I’ll explain, but know that this is where things get personal.

Set the Wayback Machine to Labor Day Weekend of 2012. I made the trip to the mountains of Arkansas with my family to see my grandmother for her birthday on September 1st. There was no celebration this year, however. A few months before, she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and it was understood that she could go at any time. She was bed-ridden and on quite a bit of medication. She was far thinner than that last time I saw her, but she was lucid, and recognized me immediately.

The family found itself in that grey Sargasso Sea of waiting. We couldn’t do much more for her other than make her comfortable and tell her that she was loved. I spent the weekend with my family, but on Labor Day Monday, I had to head back to Texas. Believe me when I say that I didn’t want to; I wanted to be there until the very end. Just contemplating leaving made me feel like a galaxy-sized tool. But with kids and an office job, I had little choice but to return.

Life doesn’t always give us the opportunity to say good-bye to our loved ones, but this time it did. I knew I would be a wreck before, during, and afterward. You had better believe that I had plenty of my special shirts with me on this trip. For this last visit, I had my House Baratheon shirt on under my button-up. What can I say? It gave me strength.

She wasn’t so lucid on our last meeting, but smiled when she saw me. We visited, I told her how much I loved her (in great detail), and sooner than I would have imagined, it was time to go. She waved at me as I left, and that was that. She died six days later.

Fast forward to the beginning of October in 2015. My uncle, my grandmother’s only son, died in a motorcycle accident. This time I didn’t get to say good-bye, and his death was an utter sucker-punch out of the blue. One minute, I’m watching Little Einsteins with my son and the next my aunt is telling me what happened over the phone. It felt so unreal and, even after the memorial service, it still does.

Three years might seem like a long time, but when the family gathered for the funeral, it felt like only yesterday since we had all come together for my grandmother. I wore a suit to the service. It’s rare to see me in one since I dress casually most of the time (one of the perks of being a writer). This time, my undershirt was the direwolf of House Stark.

To some, it might seem really dorky, perhaps even disrespectful, to wear what is a obviously a fanboy shirt to something as solemn as a funeral. But at that moment it acted as a sort of emotional duct tape, keeping me together when I might have otherwise gone to pieces.

You see, I love those books – the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I can discuss them for hours on end, picking them apart, speculating on various bits of lore and how the series will end. I thank George R.R. Martin for writing them.  I’m fairly sure he didn’t set out to write those books in the hopes that they would one day prove a much-needed bulwark for a man he’s never met, but he managed to succeed in that (admittedly inside) goal anyway. Thanks, George.

GRRM.

Take your time, George. I’ll wait as long as it takes.

Life is short, so hold onto to those things that you love, whether it’s toys, books, video games, T-shirts, or whatever. Give the people you love a hug. Make a memory. We all say good-bye to each other in the end, so cherish the time you have on this Earth.

I know that may all sound like a Hallmark commercial, but that’s what you get for reading the blog of a hopeless sentimentalist.

Thanks for stopping by.

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An Open Letter to David Benioff and D.B. Weiss From a Humble Fanboy:

Dear Mr. Benioff and Mr. Weiss,

I know I’m writing to you in the ‘off season’ of Game of Thrones attention, but it has taken a while for me to truly sort out my feelings and thoughts on Season 5. Controversy follows your show. That’s nothing new, but this season seems like it caught a bit more negative attention in the media than in years previous.

To be sure, there are many things about Season 5 that I absolutely adored (which I’ll cover below), but… (and you had to know there’d be a ‘but’) this was countered by many puzzling creative decisions that have left me scratching my head.

So, I thought I would break it down here, plotline by plotline. Of course, the odds of you seeing this, and reading it, are very slim. But, you did see Larry Williams’ Season 1 fan rant over Ned’s beheading, and these open letters are quite cathartic for me, so full steam ahead, I say. (***OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING***):

The Night’s Watch:

Jon Snow

That look…

Let’s start off on a high note. I loved everything about this story arc. Guys, this is you at your best. The acting, the pacing, the sudden yet inevitable betrayal, all of it is some of the best your show has ever put forward. Oh, and HARD HOME! You nailed the action and the emotion of this better than 95% of major motion pictures. And the look of utter defeat and hopeless on Jon’s face as he rowed away… wow, just wow. Regardless of my other issues with Season 5, the Night’s Watch was exactly as it should be, and then some.

King’s Landing:

Cersei Lannister

My how the mighty have fallen.

Also super solid stuff. Cersei hoists her own petard and FINALLY, after five seasons of shenanigans, the Lioness has her actions come back to haunt her. You reap what you sow (unless you’re a Greyjoy, of course). The addition of Jonathan Pryce was inspired, and gave the situation exactly the kind of gravitas it deserved. The Walk of Shame was incredible, and Lena Headey really sold it. I hope she has her acceptance speech in order for the many awards she’s likely to win for that.

Sam and Gilly:

AemonDictatesALetterToSam

The Westrosi Scooby Gang.

Some folks took offense to these two unlikely lovebirds, but I thought they were sweet onscreen together. I do think they took up a bit more screen time than they should have, but I understand you have only 10 hours per season. It’s a little odd that Sam would so openly admit to having sex with Gilly in front of the Lord Commander, but I guess Jon figured there are bigger problems to worry about. Oh, and Maester Aemon’s passing was touching. His final words created a lump in my throat the size of a small grapefruit. True story.

Brienne and Pod:

Game_of_Throne_Season_5_08

I could watch a whole show about these two. Seriously.

These two are way ‘off book’ in their travels, but I think you handled it pretty well. I like these characters, and they pair well.  It felt like we sort of lost them in the middle episodes, and Brienne ultimately failed at her sworn duty by missing that candle in the window, but she had her reckoning with Stannis (or so I’m led to believe). I hope that she’ll go on to bigger and better things now. Oh, and kudos on her explanation of why Renly meant so much to her. Nailed it.

Jaime, Dorne, and the Sand Snakes:

GOT-season-5-21

Shouldn’t you be in the Riverlands?

Okay, so I’ve been pretty congratulatory up until now. What happened here, guys? Seriously, why include Doran, the Sand Snakes, et al. if the amount of screen time they get is so small? The reasoning behind every plot point was a ‘huh’ moment, the fight scene with the Sand Snakes looked like it was out of the Power Rangers, and the resolution fell flat. Since Myrcella goes down about three-hundred yards from the dock, can we assume that Season 6 will open with Trystan Martell’s head being flung into the ocean? How would Jaime not just turn the ship around right then? I realize you guys have to make changes from the book, but come on. Extra points for including Bronn, though.

Tyrion and Varys (And Jorah):

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So…c*ck merchants are actually a thing in Essos?

Tyrion and Varys are two of my favorite characters in the whole series, so seeing them travel together was a delight. I’m a little sad that we’re not getting an Old Griff/Young Griff storyline, but I get it. The books are the books. The show is the show. And when the Tyrion hand-off happens, I like the dynamic you show between the Bear and the Lion. Both have been through hell. Both are giant disappointments to their respective fathers. The look on Jorah’s face when he finds out that his father was killed by the Night’s Watch is powerful stuff. Iain Glen and Peter Dinklage, together, in a scene. Thank you, D&D.

Arya, Er— I mean “No One”:

No one.

Meryn Trant…LIKE A BOSS.

Maisie Williams is crafted of the finest awesome, and so is Arya. That said, it did feel like her admission into the House of Black and White didn’t require much except standing up to a few random Bravos (who speak the common language, funnily enough). And once she’s in with the Faceless Men, it feels like she spends a good part of the season sweeping floors and cleaning up dead bodies. The real hammer doesn’t fall until the very end, and it was admittedly a doozy, but it didn’t seem like there was much for to do this time around. A pity.

Sansa and the Boltons:

Sansa

Remember this guys? Do you?

Let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we?  This, like some elements of Season 5, left me utterly baffled, and in this case a bit sick to my stomach. The Boltons are horrible, yeah, we know. Little Finger pawns Sansa off to them ‘cause he’s a Machiavellian manipulator, fine. But you started to invest in Sansa as a character, making her more of a player and less of a piece on the cyvasse board. If you aren’t going to use the books as your foundation (and please don’t try to turn the issue on its head with the lame ‘isn’t it odd who gets our sympathy and who doesn’t?’ argument), how did you come up with this train wreck? Why did you build Sansa up only to break her down again? I thought we were done with her being a helpless victim at the hands of a sexually abusive, sadistic psycho, who can only be saved by a man? No? Another round you say? Oh, D&D…this is me walking behind you with a bell. SHAME! *clang* SHAME! *clang*

Stannis and Friends:

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Nope.

I really hope you have a trick up your sleeve for the would-be Azor Ahai. Otherwise, this entire part of the story ends with a whimper, not a bang. His defeat left me with a ‘that’s it?’ moment, and the burning of Shireen felt put in for shock value than anything else. It accomplished nothing other than to show us that Stannis is a horrible person who, despite his pretensions, will not hesitate to murder his way to the throne. I knew that already, thanks. (I’ve read the books.) Yes, I know the burning has a grounding in the books (to come), but you’ve certainly left the books behind when it has suited you, why not here? AND I would have been surprised by the act if it had not been telegraphed from a hundred miles away. I knew we were on the countdown, and so did Davos. He rescued Gendry, a boy he barely even knew. Why wouldn’t he have kidnapped Shireen or fought harder to keep her alive? Or even confronted Stannis in his typical cool fashion? Spares, the lot of them.

Dany and the Meereenese Gang:

Dany.

How DOES she get better looking each season? ❤

Again, some folks really didn’t like this part, but I did. It’s Dany becoming a leader, and good is not the same as nice. If anything, I think she was perhaps too lenient on the Old Masters, but maybe that’s just me. While, Dany is perhaps the worst at ride-sharing with her friends in danger, I think things went pretty well here. We finally had Tyrion meet Dany face-to-face! Do you know how long I’ve waited for that? And it was great. My biggest complaint here is that the Unsullied did not account themselves very well. They are supposed be Eunuch Spartans for crying out loud! I understand a few of them getting surprised, but once more than three are able to rally and join shields, regular guys with silk robes and daggers (against spears and shields) should be D-E-A-D. And while Barristan the Bold did okay, that was a pretty poor send-off for the acknowledged greatest living knight. That said, thank you for not giving Dany the flux at the end there. I take that as a personal kindness, and I’m sure Emilia Clarke does as well.

So, there you have it – just one fanboy’s take on it all. Even though I think there were some gigantic misfires in Season 5, I want you to know that I’m not mad at you. You have given me some of the best programming I’ve ever seen on the small screen, and I think you are doing the material justice overall.

And now, you guys will likely spoil some secrets before the remaining books come out. The race is already on between The Winds of Winter and Season 6, and I’m pretty sure you guys will get there first. But even if GRRM gets TWoW out first, you’ll definitely beat him to the last book. That puts the two of you in a unique position that, as fans of the book, I’m sure you can appreciate. Every GoT fan that exists wishes they were in your place, to know the secrets of how it all ends.

Look, I’m not here to tell you how to do your job. I can’t know the hours and hours the two of you have put into this project, of just how personal a thing it is for you. This is your baby, and you’ve owned it, a project that even the author himself didn’t think was possible.

Just do me a favor as you go through the final seasons of this show: respect your audience. This show exists because of the fans, not despite them.  Season 5 was a mixed bag, and the parts that didn’t work felt either half-hearted or gratuitous. Are those the words you really want associated with what is surely your magnum opus?

You guys have proven, time and again, that you know how to deliver an epic experience to us, and keep us glued to our TVs on Sunday nights. Do that. Show us the world GRRM imagined, in all its wonder, in all its flawed and savage beauty. Don’t insult our intelligence, or go for the obvious gimmick, or think that rape equals female character development.

You’re better than that.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely (and with much love),

— Matt Carson

P.S. – The North Remembers.

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Best Served Cold: Why You Should Never Cross a Fiction Writer

George R.R. Martin is often quoted as saying, “A reader lives a thousand times before he dies. The man who never reads lives only once.”  What about the other side of that coin?

Well, let me tell you, a writer can kill you a thousand times on paper if you cross him or her. The character may not have your name, or even look anything remotely like you, but a fiction writer, particularly a sci-fi writer, contemplates destroying whole star systems or galaxies during a lunch break. What do you think they’ll do to you?

He tasks me...

It is very cold…in spaaaaace.

Is it just a quiet power trip? A revenge fantasy? More than just a tad petty? Sure it is, but I challenge any fiction writer out there to tell me they’ve never done this. I mean, someone has to get fed to the dragon, right? So why not an abusive boss or your old grade-school bully?

Here’s one of my own literary paybacks:

In college, my degree plan required a sales class. You couldn’t get out of it since it was a prerequisite, which was bad news for introverted guys like yours truly. About 60% of your grade for this class was ‘lab.’ In practice, that meant that the university newspaper gave each student some of the sorriest, most underperforming clients they had on file and expected the students to physically go to these clients (calling them on the phone was expressly forbidden) to solicit ad space in the paper.

Without a doubt, this was the most blatant example of student exploitation I experienced during my years there. No commission for anything you sold, no reimbursement for gas (and believe me, gas money was pretty scarce back then). And to top it off, I was paying for the privilege of doing this for them.

The Doctor will not.

What? WHAAAT?

The man who headed up this program will remain nameless here, though I will say that his name looked and sounded cool. That was sort of a theme with this guy, looking and sounding cool. He had that salesman ‘aura’ to him with great hair and a politician’s polished smile. Dealing with him on any level was the worst for the very fact that he had training on how to overcome objections, and get people to do something that they wouldn’t want to do in the first place. The class remains the most difficult, awkward, and frustrating of my student career.

Years later, I needed a character name that sounded cool, though the character himself was dead. I don’t just mean died-fighting-lions-in-the-coliseum dead, I mean launched-into-the-cold-void-of-space-and-then-falls-headfirst-into-a-star-and-somehow-there’s-a-waiting-volcano-on-the-surface-of-that-star-that-also-has-fangs, irrevocably, irretrievably DEAAAAAAD.

Crunchy

In other words…TOAST.

Well, I flipped through my mental roll-a-dex. Guess who came to mind? Yep, Mr. Perfect-Hair himself. He may never know it, or read any of my stuff, or care one jot or tittle even he did, but I know. That’s my little Easter egg, my private joke to myself.

So, if in your daily travels you come across a person who says that they write fiction, be nice to them. Otherwise, don’t be surprised if one day the first person who gets their soul devoured by Great Cthulhu bears a striking resemblance to someone you know.

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The Golden Age of the Geekosphere

Tonight, I’m going to see Avengers: Age of Ultron (the movie I’m most excited to see this summer). That got me to thinking about the multitude of things that make being a geek/nerd/fanboy/fangirl just so cool these days.

Yes, we’ve got it pretty good, and here are 5 of my favorite reasons why:

1.) Nerd/Science Culture Acceptance

Bazinga!

What he said.

Let’s start with the most general of them. Over the last few years, what has been traditionally ‘nerd’ culture has leaked over into mainstream. Game of Thrones has been instrumental in this shift, along with shows like The Big Bang Theory and Sherlock. While the former has given us our share of fantasy and dragons (historically in the purview of geeks), the latter two have shown us that intelligent characters can carry a narrative, going far beyond the tape-around-the-glasses/pocket protector stereotypes of generations before.

We also have TV shows like Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson, where we can see the beauty of science, and why it’s useful. We have websites like Geeks are Sexy and IFLScience. We can watch the livestream of the ISS, see sunsets from the surface of Mars, and use brand-new images of planets from Mercury to Ceres as our computer wallpaper. We may not have starships (yet), but little by little science is spreading into the public consciousness.

Maybe we’re a long way from mainstream or wholesale acceptance, but it’s a start. I’ll certainly take it.

2.) The Marvel Cinematic Universe

Assemble!

A triumph of the human spirit.

Okay, so you might think this is a big step down from #1, but go with me for a moment.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe did the impossible – it wove individual movie franchises into one big story. Despite its name, it isn’t just about the cinema anymore. We now have TV shows like Agent Carter, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, and Daredevil, not to mention comic books and cartoons, all of which take place in the MCU.

While this by itself makes the comic book fanboy in me want to do the Snoopy dance, the MCU showed audiences and studios alike that this is viable way to make movies. Marvel has plans for more movies in the MCU through 2020 and beyond.

That means that we will wind up with at least two decades of superhero movies, if you start the clock with X-Men in the year 2000. And the current generation of movie-goers will have had the privilege of living through this era, of seeing all this unfold in the theatre. That’s pretty exciting.

One of these days the MCU might play out, but right now it’s going strong. Even if others try to emulate the MCU badly (*cough* DC *cough*), we at least got Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy out of the deal, so go us!

3.) The Regeneration of Doctor Who

Vale Decem

You don’t have to go.

The years 1989 to 2004 were a dark time for Whovians. The only Who we got back then was that pretty awful TV movie that was a weak attempt at a reboot. I do admit to liking the style and charisma that Paul McCann brought to the character, and this was the first time we saw Who with more ‘modern’ effects. But… the Seventh Doctor got a punk death, Eric Roberts played the Master, and the story was just plain bad, and clearly written by people who were not invested in the franchise.

In 2005, however, Russell T. Davies rekindled the series with Christopher Eccleston as the title role. Steven Moffat took over as showrunner after David Tennant’s run, and the show is still going strong. I hope the BBC will learn from its mistake in 1989 and keep the show going indefinitely. Now that the ’12 Regeneration Limit’ issue has been addressed, there’s no reason why Doctor Who can’t continue to move forward with new adventures.  Doctor Who is something that science fiction fandom needs, and for the foreseeable future, we have it.

4.) Netflix & YouTube (& All the Social Media)

<3

I laughed, I cried, I rebuffered.

This is a pretty broad category, to be sure. Netflix and other video streaming platforms have given fans an unprecedented access to episodes of our favorite shows, past and present. Previously, fans had to make do with a library of DVDs or VHS tapes. Though there is often a delay between when a program is broadcast and when it ends up streaming, it gives fans nowadays the ability to binge watch whole shows. It’s just as easy to watch the original G1 Transformers as it is to watch the Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D.

YouTube has made a great addition to fandom as well. Here you can share fan theories and lateral content, parodies, song covers, and cosplay advice. Some of the fan-made trailers for movies and TV shows are in many ways better than the actual thing. It’s a wide-open canvas for fans to express their creativity. If that weren’t enough, social media sites bring fans news and information with unprecedented speed, as well as giving us a way to connect with the people who make the TV shows, movies, and music videos unlike ever before. You could tweet to Neil Gaiman, Lindsey Stirling, or Emilia Clarke and they might actually Tweet back.

TECHNOLOGY!

5.) ThinkGeek

Hey, listen!

With or without a promo code.

What’s the surest way to know that geek fandoms are doing well? Merchandising. Manufacturers wouldn’t make a pizza cutter in the shape of the Enterprise, or plush facehuggers if they didn’t think there was a market for them. Turns out there is.

Marketing licensed merch and cool gadgets is nothing new, but no one, and I mean no one, does it better than ThinkGeek. There are endless places online to find fan-based T-shirts, but ThinkGeek goes above and beyond. They have collectibles, apparel, gadgets, toys, and things you didn’t think anyone would make but you are sure glad that they did.  Seriously, folks, there is a spotlight small enough to sit on your desk that is a miniature Bat Signal.

Beyond that, it feels like the people at ThinkGeek actually get these licenses. They know what these properties mean to the fans because they are fans of them themselves. Do yourself a favor and go sign up for their email newsletter. When it comes in, read it. Does is it sound like you are being pandered to by people who wouldn’t know a Wookie from a Dalek? Nope, not at all. It’s more like walking into a meet & greet at a local convention. They’re the friends-in-fandom you never knew you had. If you haven’t already, go check them out.

A Final Word

There are many more things I could list about the awesomeness of modern geekery, but that would take more than a humble blog post to even scratch the surface.  The upshot of it is: there has never been a better time to be a fan, and I’m glad to be a part of it all.

May this emerging golden age of the Geekosphere Live Long and Prosper.

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Bronies and Fan Shaming

Look at any of the ‘about me’ sections here on my blog, my website, or Facebook page and you’ll see that I self-identify as a ‘fanboy.’ I am not ashamed to admit that I, as a grown man, love things like Transformers, Doctor Who, Star Trek, and any number of others.

Back in 2010 we saw the emergence of yet another type of fandom, this one stemming from Hasbro’s G4 reboot of the My Little Pony franchise. This caused a bit of a stir, however; some of the fans of the show were males of college age or older, calling themselves “Bronies.” While the term has since come to encompass female fans of the show as well, it’s not always easy to separate the ‘bro’ out of brony in the public consciousness.

Rainbow Dash

This blog post needs to be about 20% cooler.

So, we have grown men who are fans of a cartoon meant for little girls. Give that a moment’s consideration, folks. Does the idea of such a thing give you a twinge of doubt, or pause, or even make you a shade uncomfortable? If so, you might ponder why that is. I’ve given the subject a bit of thought myself, and here’s what I’ve found.

The Formula:

Let’s break this down to its elemental components. The factors that play a part here are gender, age, and fandom. Let’s explore a few examples:

Female + Age 8 + My Little Pony = Totally okay.
Male + Age 3 + My Little Pony = Okay, but he’ll grow out of it.

Female + Age 36 + Transformers = I wore parachute pants, too!
Male + Age 36 + Transformers = Oh, you’re a collector?

Female + Age 36 + My Little Pony = I still have my stuffed animals, too.
Male + Age 36 + My Little Pony = Ewww…pervert.

It’s that last combination that doesn’t jive with many of our notions of gender roles and age appropriateness. While a boy might be able to like a girl’s show when he’s little and doesn’t know the difference, he had better be playing with Tonka trucks and action figures by about age 7 and beyond.

The Manliest Brony In The World

This man builds Harley-Davidson motorcycles and is also one of the biggest Bronies in the world. Can’t you just hear the preconceived notions shattering like glass?

Ask yourself: is it really fair to think of female Transformers fans as an interesting anomaly, while male My Little Pony fans are somehow an aberration? Where is it written that you can only like something if you’re part of the target demographic? It’s a double-standard that fandom in general doesn’t need, and it should be eradicated whenever possible.

Why is that?

Apples to Apples:

While I can understand why the general public might immediately balk at the idea of Bronies, the most unsettling part of this story to me is the negative treatment Bronies have received from members of other fandoms.

Nerd/geek/fanboy demi-god Wil Wheaton once said, and I’m paraphrasing: “Fandom is about loving something, and not being apologetic about it.” If you’re a die-hard fan, it means you love something much more than the average person sitting next to you on the train. Maybe it’s the Philadelphia Eagles, or comic books, or Stars Wars. It doesn’t matter. One type of fandom is not inherently better or worse than any other.

COEXIST

There’s enough room in the ‘Verse for all of us.

Who knows why you love it so much. The reasons why are irrelevant; you love it, and as Wheaton said, you shouldn’t be apologetic about it. It is absolutely absurd for a bare-chested man, painted in green and yellow, sporting a headpiece shaped like a wedge of cheese, to look down on a woman who cosplays David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor. The same goes for a man dressed as a Klingon ripping on another man for attending a con dressed as Rainbow Dash.

It’s all a kind of silliness when we step back and look at it, so why do we feel the need to judge anyone for it? There’s also another aspect to this to consider.

We Get Enough Shame As It Is:

Story time: when I was in high-school, I used be made fun of for being (amongst other things) a Star Trek fan. I won’t lie, it hurt. At the time, I couldn’t understand why my love for something was of any interest to them. What did it matter? Why did they feel the need to belittle me over something I liked? I just didn’t get it.

Wil Friggin' Wheaton!

For he IS the Kwisatz Haderach!

But now I realize that they were all simply outsiders to the fandom I cherished. If they had had any inkling of what the franchise, the characters, and the lessons in humanity meant to me on a personal level, or better yet, if we had shared some of those experiences in some way, perhaps they would understand why I was winning Trek trivia contests at cons by the age of 14.

Truth is, if you’re a huge fan of something, someone out there will not hesitate to tell you how stupid it is and why you’re an idiot for liking it. If we as fans are already going to get shame from outsiders, why would we ever consider doing that to another group within fandom itself? It’s pointless and self-defeating. We Whovians, Warsies, Trekkies (or Trekkers, if you prefer), Tributes, Gaimanites and Whedonites, et al. have got to stick together.

Final Thoughts:

If you still don’t know what to make of the Brony phenomenon, the best thing to do is actually check out the show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It’s on Netflix. Start from Season 1 and work your way up from there. Educate yourself about it, I dare you. Go listen to the songs “Winter Wrap-up” or “Hearts Strong As Horses” or “Play Your Part” and tell me there’s not something to it.

MLP:FIM

This is the logo. Before you judge, check it out for yourself.

As I said, I was skeptical of it at first, but then I realized I was guilty of the same crimes against fandom that I described above. So I watched it – all of it – and found that it was a show with well-developed characters (portrayed by a stellar VA cast), great world-building, fun and engaging adventures, and more than a little commentary about the nature of friendship itself. I think those are things that any age group or gender can appreciate.

We live in the era of dark, Nolan-esque, gritty reboots, a product of our post-9/11 society. You can see it in James Bond, The Man of Steel, Batman, oh and Transformers. In amongst all the needless collateral damage and blaring “Bwwaaaahhs” in the soundtrack, is it really that hard to believe fans might seek out something more positive and inspirational?

And, in the end, why should we deny anyone that?

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Time Travel via Root Beer

I have an admission to make: I’m a bottled root beer snob. Some may know all about fine wines, whiskey, or spirits, but not this author. Nope, instead I can go on at length on the flavor differences between St. Arnold’s and Sioux City, Texas Root Beer and Boylans, and on and on…

So why do I bring this up? Well, recently, I rediscovered a brand of root beer that is pure nostalgia. Root beer in general is the fast lane for remembering my childhood, it’s true, but this one is linked to a particularly happy memory, and I thought I’d share it with you. It’s a rarity for me to get personal on this blog, but today I’ll make an exception.

Story time! Let’s the set the Way-Back Machine, Mr. Peabody, to (you guessed it) the ‘80s!

Mixing metaphors again, eh?

Yep, I’m unashamedly mixing genres and fandoms here.

Before my father went into business for himself, he worked at a place called “Hudico,” which was owned and operated by a stern, semi-legendary man named Jim Hudson. It was there that my father learned the basics of how to be a machinist. The building was little more than a hole in the wall in a rural town in Texas. During the summers it was explosively hot inside there. I’m not sure if Jim didn’t believe in air conditioning, or just didn’t want to pay for such a creature comfort. Maybe a bit of both.

I remember very clearly that my mother would take me up to Hudico to see my father on his breaks, as we lived close by. During those moments when my father, just 25-years-old at the time, was not furiously running a lathe, a press, or a mill, we would sit together in the corner near the old beat-up Coke machine (one of the few amenities Jim did allow). The metal monstrosity must’ve come from the ‘30s or earlier. It was the kind where you put your money in and pulled the bottle out lengthwise. Jim never stocked it with any order, so you put your money in and pulled out whatever was next.

You kids get off my lawn!

Pretty much like this, but with post-apocalyptic rust patches and paint scratches.

On more than one occasion, as I sat with my father, the next mystery bottle in queue was a Triple XXX Root Beer. In those quiet moments we would split a drink, and in the Texas heat the ice-cold drink was crisp and vibrant. Often, when we reached the bottom third of the bottle, he would hand it off to me and say those words I had been waiting for: “You can have the rest of it.”

There are times he still says this to me, even as a grown man. It’s one of those catch-phrases that develops between people over time, the kind that instantly takes you back to the moment when it was first coined.

Doing the math, I would have been about four at the time, or just barely five, during those summer breaks with Dad. I sensed even back then that his labors in Jim’s machine shop were to help provide for the family. When I say that his work was paid for in his blood, sweat, and tears, I’m not being figurative, as anyone who’s actually worked in a machine shop before can tell you. But even in the midst of all of that, the harsh conditions, the back-breaking labor, the long hours, he would still take the time to sit down with me for a few minutes, and share a drink.

Time marched on. My father broke away from Hudico and started his own machine shop. After that, Triple XXX root beer fell off the map. I never saw it in stores, or anywhere outside of that one machine, but my memories of it still remained.

Fast forward to the present day.

Recently, I found a specialty candy store that carries all manner of obscure, imported, and even bizarre specialty colas. They have a whole refrigerator dedicated to nothing but bottled root beers of all kinds. On a whim, I scanned the shelves, looking for it.

And there it was, the old-fashioned red and yellow logo, staring me right in the face. I was perhaps more giddy at the find than a grown man probably should be. Understand, though, that this was the holy grail of root beers for me, the express train to one of my happier childhood memories.

Triple XXX Root Beer

And I come to you now…at the turn of the tide.

When I cracked one open, the taste was as distinctive and delicious as I remembered. It wasn’t a DeLorean or a Tardis, but it was certainly the equivalent of a liquid time machine. I was there once again at Hudico, amongst the grime, the grease, and the open sense of optimism for the future.

So, for Christmas this year, I’ll be giving my father a few of these bad boys. (And if you’re reading this, Dad, just try to act surprised, okay?) More than that, I’ll share them with my sons. Perhaps when they’re adults, they can look back on those memories with the same fondness that I have for the ones I carry.

And on those days when we share one, it will do my heart good to hand it to them and finally say, “You can have the rest of it.”

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Madness? THIS IS…ATHENS!

It’s no secret − I’m a nerd as well as a geek. It’s not all about Optimus Prime and marathons of Doctor Who episodes…no, no! For a guy who spends an inordinate amount of time contemplating worlds other than our own, I do have an interest in real-life stuff. Take history, for example. I’ve been a history buff since I was very young. In fact, I can pretty much trace what initially sparked my interest in the subject down to one incident.

I was born in Athens, a small town out in the piney woods of East Texas. One Sunday morning when I was about four or five, I was sitting in church, listening to the story of the Apostle Paul’s famous sermon on the Areopagus, or the Hill of Ares, in Athens, Greece.

butler-leonidas-300-kopis

Tonight we dine at Mazzio’s!

Not realizing that there were, in fact, many cities with that name, my mind lit up with the possibilities. I was sitting on the lap of my godmother, or “Nanny,” and the conversation went something like this:

Me: So, Paul went to Athens?

Nanny: Yes, that’s right.

Me:  Wow! I didn’t know he came here. Athens is that old?

Nanny: (With a knowing smile) No, honey, he went to Athens, Greece.

Me: You mean there’s more than one?

Nanny:  Yes.

Me:  (Processing this new information) So…why did they name their city after us?

Nanny: (Another knowing smile) They didn’t. We named our city after them.

It was a whole new world for me. There was another Athens that I had never even heard of before, and it was apparently so cool and awesome that we were merely a reflection of it. It planted the seed of curiosity. I wanted to know just what this ‘super’ Athens had done to warrant such a thing. It made me want to know about them.

a_whole_new_world_by_fantasist

Wait, what are you doing? Stop singing!

As soon as I could, I started reading about Greece. Democracy, theatre, philosophy and the Socratic Method, astronomy, sculpture, marathons, the Olympics, the foundations of the Roman alphabet, classical architecture (most notably the Parthenon), strides forward in mathematics and music, the Hippocratic Oath of Doctors, concepts of social justice, civic duty and community, epic poetry, military strategy, and on, and on. The Greeks either gave us those things outright, or made huge leaps in existing fields. Athens played a big part in all of that.

Makes me proud to be an Athenian. Of a sort…

So, big surprise, that era of history is one my favorites.  I just can’t read enough about it. Western civilization owes much to the ancient Greeks. So remember that next time you play Stratego, eat a gyro, or bust out your copy of Clash of the Titans.

3ogy5f

Tragic.

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What I Miss About The ’80s

Okay, let me just lay it on the line here — my favorite decade is and was the ’80s. Pink legwarmers and parachute pants may be a bit dated now, but there’s a kind of zeitgeist about that time that really resonates with me. There are so many things we had in the ’80s that seem sadly extinct today, or at least not nearly as rad as back then.

Like what, you ask? Well, as it happens, I’ve put together a short list of things I miss most about those days.  Funny how that works, eh?

1.) Street Toughs

MJBadVideo

You know, back when MTV actually showed music videos.

Bonnie Tyler asks, “Where have all the good men gone, and where all the gods? Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?”  That’s an excellent question, Bonnie. I sense a distinct lack of street toughs these days, too. It seemed like in the ’80s that the bandana-clad denizens of the streets were the coolest, most loyal people you could ever hope to meet.  Sure, you might have to demonstrate your street cred or ‘heart’ to them with an impromptu dance-off, or blistering guitar solo, but once you were in good with them, you had nothing to fear.  Luckiest were those street toughs who managed to impress the even rarer street goddess, who had short black hair, wore fingerless gloves, and either a suit jacket with padded shoulders and the sleeves rolled up or lots of really bright eye shadow (maybe both).

2.) Uber-Quotable Movies

Ghostbusters movie poster

Oh yeah, that’s who I’m gonna call.

The ’80s were replete with dialogue that was either so incredibly memorable or so over-the-top ridiculous that it left an impression long after seeing it in the theatre or watching it on VHS. These are the movies that work their way into your everyday lexicon, the ones you find yourself reciting without even realizing it. While movies before and after this time still have plenty of pithy one-liners, the ’80s seems (to me, at least) to have the greatest concentration of movies with start-to-finish quotability. Here are my favorite examples:

Big Trouble in Little China, Ghostbusters, Top Gun, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Princess Bride, E.T: The Extra Terrestrial., Airplane!, Back to the Future, Aliens, Terminator, Empire Strikes Back, Labyrinth, The Lost Boys, Say Anything, ¡Three Amigos!, Clue, Spaceballs, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, The Goonies, Dirty Dancing, Adventures in Babysitting, Legend, The Breakfast Club, Bladerunner…and on…and on…

3.) Toy/Cartoon Tie-Ins

optimi_7791

Heeeey, wait a second…

In this author’s humble opinion, this was the single greatest decade for toys, especially those that had a strategically timed 30-minute commercial playing either before school or just after it. Voltron, Thundercats, Silverhawks, M.A.S.K., Masters of the Universe, Visionaries, G.I. Joe and, of course, my favorite…The Transformers.  These were the cartoons that were the stuff of modern morality plays, teaching us to do what was right, be true to ourselves, and stay in school.  They certainly weren’t a ploy to get us to buy more toys, no siree! I mean, if some of the most beloved characters from my childhood were just part of a massive marketing machine to move colored pieces of plastic off the shelves of the local Kmart, that would just be…sad.

4.) Mall Arcades

fi/atplay3

That’s more like it.

Arcades in the mall these days are total weak sauce. They might have a DDR knock-off, a multi-player racing game, and perhaps that rip-off toy grabber thingie — a far cry from the legendary arcades of yore. As a kid, the local Red Baron Arcade (Later Aladdin’s Castle and Tilt) was the place to go. The air was filled with a cacophony of overlapping, now-familiar video game sounds from Pac-Man, Tron, Galaga, Donkey Kong, Sinistar, Dragon’s Lair and the like. The colorful cabinets and 8-bit graphics were mesmerizing to my young mind. It all came together to create an atmosphere of fun the likes of which I have not seen since. To this day, building an ’80s-style arcade is one of my dreams.  Should I ever gain the means to do so, it will be Flynn’s Arcade all over again. Oh yeah…

5.) British New Wave

DuranRio

Nagle artwork meets Duran Duran…it doesn’t get more ’80s than that.

This was the time of the ‘Second British Invasion.’ Where The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, and The Moody Blues had crossed the pond in the ’60s, the ’80s were undeniably the time of Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Petshop Boys, Tears For Fears, Dead or Alive, Howard Jones, A Flock of Seagulls, The Human League, and so many more. If you could mix a pop beat with some synth keyboard effects, and then have a male singer with an English accent sing over the top of it, you were golden.  Even though it can be hard to differentiate Level 42 from the Thompson Twins at times, there was just something about those bands that seemed to capture the fresh, optimistic spirit of the ’80s. There were a few hold-out bands who took this sound into the early ’90s (Cause and Effect comes to mind), but the fire of this genre largely died out with the decade itself.

Man, I miss the ’80s more than I realized. *Sniff, sniff.*

I really could use a hug right now…or maybe I just need to go play The Legend of Zelda again.

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My Pre-Writing Ritual

Authors are a strange lot. Sure, some may be completely normal-looking on the outside, but there’s something about a person who’s willing to spend hours upon hours plinking away on a keyboard (or writing with pen and paper) that makes them…eccentric. Yes, eccentric. That’s a polite way of putting it.

I’m no exception. In fact, I revel in the knowledge that I’m just a little off. Always have been, always will be. Let me give you an example of the madness to my method. What follows is the ritual I go through before a writing session.

2005531-eddard_stark

Brace Yourself – Weirdness is Coming.

1.) The Encounter Suit

Do you know someone (or are someone) who has a game-day jersey, lucky hat or something similar? You know, it’s that article of clothing that can magically make the difference between victory and defeat for a favorite team? Well, I have a similar deal with what I put on before I settle in at my keyboard.

I’ve been known to wear pajama pants when I’m writing, the really eye-blistering plaid kind that look like golf pants gone horribly wrong. Or, it could be jeans or cargos, just so long as they’re comfortable. The real focal point of the garb, however, is the shirt. Most often it’s a printed T-shirt from a band, movie, TV show or something else that I really enjoy. It could be themed after Superman, House Baratheon, or the Official Stirlingites – just so long as it’s a physical representation of something that inspires me.

At times I even don what I refer to as my lumberjack shirt. It’s a black, beige and brick-red plaid shirt with a corduroy collar (yes, you heard that right) that I wear unbuttoned like a labcoat.  It’s a hideous throw-back to the coffee house culture of the 90s, but it also happens to be one of the most comfortable and durable shirts I’ve ever owned. It is, however, quite warm, so it doesn’t come out as much in the warmer months of Texas.

brawny

Remember, you’re never fully dressed without a smile.

Once I’m properly attired, I look sufficiently bizarre to ensure that I spend my time writing and don’t pop out to the grocery store. Although, even in that state, I’m sure I could get away with a trip to Walmart.

2.) Downstairs Pre-flight Checklist

Once I’m ‘in garb,’ it’s time to get all my stuff together for the trip up to my office upstairs. I may grab a light snack just to tide me over or something for an in-flight treat. Generally this takes the form of sliced apples, bananas and perhaps even a few of those individually wrapped wheels of cheese. If I have any reference books downstairs that I might need, I gather them up as well.

That’s when I reach for my cobalt blue U.S.S. Constitution mug, which I bought when I went to go see Old Ironsides in Boston.  I fill it with something hot to drink, either hot chocolate or Earl Grey (the drink of choice for all the best French starship captains!).  I then stir the drink with my TuxedoSam spoon from Yogurtland.  Don’t ask me why I do that; it is simply the way of things.  Iced drinks can sometimes replace this in the mug during the Summer months.

Picard

Onwards and upwards, Mr. Carson. Carry on.

If it sounds like I’m packing for a journey, you’re not far off. My writing sessions run about 3 to 5 hours at a stretch, so I need to make sure that I have everything I’ll need along the way. This is a non-stop flight.

So, once I have all that, I’m ready to make the walk upstairs – balancing all this stuff. I use that slow progression to mentally prepare myself for the scenes I’m about to write. I play them out across the movie screen in my head, trying to get inside the hearts and minds of the characters.

At this point I’m almost ready.

3.) Taking My Station

My office is sometimes known as “The Museum of Matt.” It has a host of my model ships, my reference library and a bunch of toys that somehow survived my childhood mixed in with the new ones I’ve picked up along the way. On my desk alone I have such things as: a model of the DeLorean from Back to the Future, a replica of the famous Egyptian sphinx, the Adam West-era Batmobile and a Warthog from Halo manned by the robots from Real Steel. (Long story). On one side of my monitor I have my autographed copy of Lindsey Stirling’s self-titled album. On the other side, I have my Masterpiece Optimus Prime holding up the Matrix of Leadership.

So, I set everything I’m carrying down on my desk, and I close the door. If you’ve read Stephen King’s On Writing, you’ll recognize the significance of that last act. Unless the house catches fire or there’s an alien invasion, the next few hours will be spent in service to the story. Closing the door is a symbolic gesture as well as a practical one.

images

You’ve got the touch! You’ve got the power!

I sit down and boot up my computer, then remove anything in my line of sight that doesn’t need to be there. Bill stubs, printouts, past edits – all of that goes away. When I’m nicely settled in, I switch on a brass banker’s lamp. Aside from the light from the monitor, this will be the only light in the office. Like closing the door, pulling the lamp chain is a signal that I’m getting down to the business.

Next, I pull up my playlists and select some appropriate music for what I’m about to write. The lists have names such as “Fleet Action”, “Loss and Sorrow”, “Heroes in Uniform” and so on. Sometimes it’s a single song that really calls to me. Just like a movie soundtrack, my musical selection sets the mood for the emotional states I will attempt to capture.

I take a few minutes to let the music soak in while I continue to visualize the scenes to come. At this point, I’ve taken my station as surely as Sulu sits at the helm or Uhura at the comm panel of the Enterprise. Everything’s in place.

My hands settle on the keyboard. It’s time to write.

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Epilogue:

Do I follow this regimen each and every time I sit down to write? No, of course not. Sometimes there isn’t time to do it all. I’ve found, however, that the closer I get to what I’ve described here, the better and more productive the results. I don’t know why it works, but it does.

I’m not sure what, exactly, this says about me, but I’d like to think it means that I’m a sentimentalist  in my heart of hearts, that I like to surround myself from every angle with those things which hold special significance to me. At that moment, when I’m in my own little microcosm, I can more easily enter the worlds of my imagination.

I guess I’m just weird that way.

maxresdefault

What a strange person.

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